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Medical quotations


In nothing do men more nearly approach the gods than in giving health to men. ~Cicero

My doctor is nice; every time I see him, I’m ashamed of what I think of doctors in general. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic’s Notebook, 1966

The greatest mistake in the treatment of diseases is that there are physicians for the body and physicians for the soul, although the two cannot be separated. ~Plato

Body and soul cannot be separated for purposes of treatment, for they are one and indivisible. Sick minds must be healed as well as sick bodies. ~C. Jeff Miller

In the sick room, ten cents’ worth of human understanding equals ten dollars’ worth of medical science. ~Martin H. Fischer

It is a mathematical fact that fifty percent of all doctors graduate in the bottom half of their class. ~Author Unknown

Restore a man to his health, his purse lies open to thee. ~Robert Burton

I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. ~James H. Boren

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier’s office. ~Francis O’Walsh

Did God who gave us flowers and trees,
Also provide the allergies?
~E.Y. Harburg, “A Nose Is a Nose Is a Nose,” 1965

I learned a long time ago that minor surgery is when they do the operation on someone else, not you. ~Bill Walton

It is a wise mans part, rather to avoid sickness, than to wishe for medicines. ~Thomas More, Utopia [sic]

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor’s bill an’ ye niver can read his purscription. ~Finley Peter Dunne

You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax – tomorrow you’ll be afraid to cough. ~Pearl Williams

To array a man’s will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. ~Henry Ward Beecher

A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. ~Martin H. Fischer

Surgeons must be very careful
When they take the knife!
Underneath their fine incisions
Stirs the Culprit – Life!
~Emily Dickinson

It is a good thing for a physician to have prematurely grey hair and itching piles. The first makes him appear to know more than he does, and the second gives him an expression of concern which the patient interprets as being on his behalf. ~A. Benson Cannon

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. ~Author Unknown

One thousand Americans stop smoking every day – by dying. ~Author Unknown

A hypochondriac is one who has a pill for everything except what ails him. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic’s Notebook, 1966

The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. ~Voltaire

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. ~Martin H. Fischer

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